Self-Confidence Is Sexy!
Courtesy of MarketAbility

Self-confidence is one of the strongest aphrodisiacs on the market. Just think of James Bond swaggering into a black-tie event, martini in hand. Sure, Pierce Brosnan is a great looking man, but it's his character's self-confidence that really makes us sit up and take notice. Or consider Catherine Zeta-Jones. When she walks into a room, you know she's arrived. Her presence is larger than life.

"You may think this type of charisma is limited to movie stars and corporate executives, but think again," says the Modern-Day Cupid, Melissa Darnay, author of "Dating 101: The Instant Cure for Romance Blues" (Splash of Ink Corporation, $14.95 at www.CupidsGuide.com). How did these powerful people become powerful? It's simple, says Darnay: "They acted the part!"

To be successful in the workplace, you have to look and act self-confident and like you're already successful. The same is true in the quest for love. But how do you gain greater self-confidence?

"Self-confidence begins at the very core of who you are," Darnay explains. "If you like yourself, you're going to radiate this to everyone you meet." Subconsciously, your self-confidence will cause others to respect and respond positively to you too.

Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. "If you don't like yourself," says Darnay, "you'll telegraph this negative emotion as brightly as a beacon in the night, and other people will either steer clear or treat you with a lack of respect."

Here are four simple steps to increase self-confidence from Darnay's book "Dating 101":

SPEND TIME BY YOURSELF
You need to relish your own company before someone else can enjoy being around you. Some people are not good at being alone. If you’re in this category, spend time getting to know yourself. Make a comprehensive list of all your positive attributes. Ask your friends and family to list all your good qualities. Focus on the list every day until you’ve internalized the positive energy.

STAND ON YOUR OWN
Many people think they need someone else to support them financially. If you learn to live within your means, you’ll be more appealing to the opposite sex. You’ll also have the satisfaction of being independent. It’s also important to have a career that gives you the money and respect you deserve. It’s amazing how much more self-confident you’ll feel when you’re getting more than a paycheck from work.

EARN RESPECT
Respect is the natural precursor to love. Instead of asking for it directly, demonstrate that you’re worthy of it. A great way to do this is to let others see you in your element. Maybe you’re best at work. If so, take your date to a work party and let him see how your coworkers adore you. Or maybe you have a hidden talent as an artist. If so, let her see your artwork. Better yet, submit your work to a gallery, and then take her there to show her your work hanging on the wall.

Respect is based on your inner qualities and has nothing to do with what you look like on the outside. Unfortunately, many people who are blessed with physical beauty think they deserve respect just because they’re beautiful. A woman may expect a man to buy her champagne and caviar just because she looks good. A man may expect women to fall into bed with him just because he has muscles and a nice face. Even if you’re beautiful, you still need to be kind, giving and considerate. You still need to set goals and strive to reach them. When you develop yourself as a person, you’ll be amazed at how much other people will respect you.

BALANCE YOUR LIFE
A healthy life has balance between work, leisure activities, exercise, learning and spiritual pursuits. If your life feels unbalanced, what are you missing? Make an effort to add leisure activities every week to balance your work schedule. If you tend to be alone a lot, schedule time for friends each week. When you're having fun, your life will naturally achieve better balance.

Now you know what to do, so go out there and take a leap into the unknown. Hold your head high and become the more self-confident, successful, and sexy person you've always wanted to be!