Selective mutism is widely misunderstood, sometimes misdiagnosed, and more common than most of us realize

Selective mutism is characterized by an inability to speak in certain situations, such as school, day care, or in the presence of unfamiliar adults. It typically begins between the ages of 3 and 5, and it occurs about one and a half to two times more in girls than in boys. Originally thought to be a rare condition, recent research tells us that it affects up to 2 percent of children in early elementary school.

Persistent and dangerous myths. That trauma lay at the root of selective mutism was a belief that, until recently, held sway among some professionals. This led to some parents being unjustly accused of abuse. Family dysfunction, specifically “controlling,” “overprotective” mothers and “inflexible” and “distant” fathers have also been cited as culprits. The current science discounts both of these theories.

Mistaken for other disorders. Because children with selective mutism don’t speak in certain situations, it’s sometimes assumed that they can’t or won’t speak. This may lead them to be misdiagnosed as autistic, developmentally challenged, or oppositional.

A specific phobia. Many experts now view selective mutism as a specific phobia (an excessive fear surrounding a particular situation or thing). In the case of selective mutism, a child has a specific fear of being heard or seen speaking in certain situations. Research has indicated that specific phobias are common among preschool-aged children. Studies have found children with selective mutism to be generally more anxious than other children their age, and there seems to be higher rates of anxiety disorders among children with selective mutism.

Intervention: The earlier, the better. Research suggests that treatment for selective mutism is more effective if it begins soon after the emergence of this condition, rather than after it has persisted for a long period of time.

Selective mutism vs. ordinary shyness. Children with selective mutism are often characterized as shy, but the vast majority of shy children do not develop selective mutism. One critical difference is that most shy children are able to speak once they become comfortable in a setting. Those with selective mutism remain silent long after shy children make the adjustment.

“Like a totally different kid.” That’s how many parents describe their child when they are in school or wherever their selective mutism takes hold. It’s very common for a child to talk freely and comfortably at home or in other familiar settings and then be mum around teachers, other students, or school staff.

"Helping Your Child with Selective Mutism: Practical Steps to Overcome Fear of Speaking" is the first-ever book to give parents the skills and information they need to help their children overcome this condition. In it parents find:

• A primer on how to recognize selective mutism, a lay-person report on the latest research regarding its possible causes, and everything they should know to get the most out of working with
professionals.

• The five basic principles of treating selective mutism and step-by-step help for setting up and implementing a treatment program.

• Step-by-step guidance for creating a “conversational ladder,” which gradually encourages a child to speak in the feared situations; helpful tips for increasing a child’s social circle; and a complete plan for maintaining progress and preparing a child for new transitions.