Dear Reader,

I was asked a very difficult question the other day; How to be a better mother. In light of Mother's Day, it had me thinking. I remembered two profound statements.
One was “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” and the other one was “Your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, they belong not to you.” One statement was from a movie and the other was from a book I read. I had been raising my two older sons, when I was enlightened by those words that have stayed in my head for many years.

When asked how to be a better mother, both sayings came to mind. When I became a mother, I did not have someone around the clock helping me and informing me on how to handle everything that came up with my children. A lot of the uncertainty had to be answered by me and me alone. I look at my children differently after hearing those statements.

People have children for many different reasons and only they know what those reasons are. I believe that all children have a gift that they were born with. You must find the gift that is within your child. Sometimes the child will display their special talent or talents early on. You as their mother must keep your eyes open to what that talent is. Young children may or may not be knowledgeable enough to recognize their gifts—that's your job. Once you see what they were born to do, don't waste any time in developing it.

In my children’s case, they knew what they wanted to do early on. My oldest child wanted piano lessons when he was 10 years old. As I recall he used to sing himself to sleep every night in the crib. He had music in his head as a baby. At that time I just wanted him to quit making noise and go to sleep. I gave him piano lesson that changed his life. He now writes songs and reads music. He also plays the piano and sings in a group.

My middle son as a child would take things apart and put them back together. He wanted to see what made things tick. That was his thing. It made me crazy when I saw toys all on the floor with a screw here and a screw there. He would look at me like Einstein probably looked at his mother when he was doing his thing. I would say to him, “What are you doing?” He would say, “I am having funny Mommie.” He is now my personal handy man. Any thing I need fixed, I give it to him. That's his gift. People know of his gift too and ask him to fix their broken belongings. He could make a living by just using his hands. He'll tell you it was nothing. Believe me it is something. Something I don't have. Fact is no one in the house has that gift. When I knew he liked fixing things, I found stuff for him to do around the house all the time. It kept him busy and out of my hair, too!

I am very happy with my children. I have giving them what they needed to make it on their own. When your children at least know what they want out of life they can make their own decisions. A good mother is one that does not have to worry about her children when she leaves home. Teach them what they need to know before they leave home. Good mothers should never blame themselves if their child turns out unable to make the right decisions. That's life. If you tell them all you know that will help them, hopefully they will remember and use it when they need to. Some things are out of our control. Remember, your children come through you, but not from you. They are with you, but do not belong to you. Your mothering becomes easier when your kids don't need you as much. Be there for them when they need your advice. Tell them what you would do. Let them do what they think is best. They will show you when they can make their own decisions. Enjoy being a mother for all that it brings. Who knows, maybe your child will be the next ruler of man. Happy Mother's Day.

E-mail Carol your questions!--> Carol M.

Carol M. is a freelance advice columnist and working mother. She has three boys two of which she has raised to adulthood. She is now a grandma of two and currently works for the Human Resources Administration. She has known numerology since her second child who is now twenty-one years old. She says she uses numerology in her everyday life and finds it to be very helpful.
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